The question of who my first inspiration would be has been something that I’ve had to think about in the face of many reroutes this month. For each of these posts, the ultimate goal is to get an interview with each of the people on my bucket list, but life has a funny way of forcing my hand into doing the unexpected. In the second spot on that list is, and forever has been, Madame Melissa Holdbrook-Akposoe. Being a black woman in fashion that now lives in England, how could she not be in the top three inspirations? Funnily enough, I only started following her at the beginning of university; being in Canada meant I genuinely was living under a rock when it came to anything public figure related. People I didn’t know simply were not on my radar. That being said, I don’t mean to imply that now everyone is on my radar. I think I’m in the process of finding the perfect balance where I only surround myself with people’s content that I think is great. Inspirational to me and where I want to be. I literally do monthly reviews of everyone I follow so that my feeds constantly make me feel happy.

Anyways, back to the topic at hand: the goal is to do an interview with every person on the list, and so even though Melissa is one of my biggest inspirations, I didn’t think she’d be covered until much later (when an interview would be more feasible). However, like I seemingly need to keep learning, life loves to come at me fast, and so, after a series of disappointments, here we are.

For those of you who are like I was four years ago and don’t know who Mel’s Wardrobe is, let me tell you a little bit about her. She is a celebrity stylist (most known for styling Stormzy at present), interior decorator, and a trendsetter. Others would call her an influencer, but to me, there are few people truly influencing the masses that Melissa does. She can post a link to something, and 90% of the time, it will sell out. Sometimes even in more than one country (I’m talking about you Aveeno body spray and Zara perfume). Therefore, to me, she has transcended to a level above regular influencers to be what I call a trendsetter. There are very few people that are at this level of influence for me, all of them, bar two (Lori Hirschliefer and Jenna Lyons), being black women.

Mel is a busy woman, but the thing that I most admire about her is that she doesn’t play about her rest. It really is a lifestyle, hun, and a vital part of Mel’s lifestyle is rest and recuperation. A couple of years ago, she stopped posting anything on her story over the weekend. That doesn’t mean she stopped living, but as someone who is usually quite active on stories, I imagine it gave her an active break every week to reset. She also makes sure to give us a cute little highlight reel of any fun things she did over the weekend the following Monday. I think it is so smart because a) it gives her a break that enables her to be her fully energetic self during the week, and b) it encourages people who struggle with parasocial boundaries to remember that this is real life. It’s very abnormal to see what someone is doing every day of their life. You don’t expect to get vlogs from your friends everyday, so why would you expect them from someone who is as private as Mel? The entitlement doesn’t make sense to me.

As I’m writing this, Mel is on her honeymoon (a year after the wedding, which is very fetch to me). She and her husband have been honeymooning for 2 weeks, and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon. I wouldn’t be able to tell you where they’ve been exactly, but that’s not the point of this so it doesn’t matter. What does matter? The swaths of luxury that this whole trip has been wrapped in. From the PJ with embroidered #ItsALifestyleHun pillows, to the Cap du Eden Roc, I have been loving it for Mel. She does life well, and that’s something I admire. A lot of people that have money are miserable, and act miserably because they themselves are miserable. Melissa is not one of those people.

I honestly think that the recipe for her success has been how steadfast she has remained in pursuing her purpose. From knowing that God was sending her to the University of Essex, to using her blog to get the eyes on her to bring in the clients, Mel is (and has been) a woman that will action the steps necessary to get to the destination. That is not something that can be taught, methinks. I’m firmly of the belief that there are people who have drive, and others that don’t. Not that it’s a bad thing to want to live life and simply live life, but to work in fashion and excel, it’s hard work. Nepotism is great and useful, but the majority of the nepo babes aren’t doing GOOD work because they don’t HAVE TO to get their flowers. Very few of the girls are worth talking about LOL.

Obviously, everything that I can say about her right now is solely based on research. I don’t know Melissa, so I can’t proclaim the type of Christian that she is simply based on the fact that she makes it a priority to go to church on a Sunday. That being said, even if she’s not doing the discipleship (trademark) that Paul shouted at every nation in the New Testament to be, you can tell that at the VERY minimum, Melissa is a woman of sense and morals. And no one can say otherwise with their chest (lest they be a bloody liar). There is such an undercurrent of respect (for herself and the way she comports herself) in everything that she does, and that is one of the largest differentiators between her and other influencers to me. There is self-assurance in that woman. It’s evidenced in the content she posts, and even the brand deals that she accepts. Her brand isn’t necessarily a relatable one to the masses, but the way she shows her luxuries is tasteful; not boastful. The message is clear: Mel respects herself and her time, and in turn, she only allows brands that give that same respect to be endorsed on her platform. Whether that be exclusively confidence that came from her, or the fact that she’s thriving in His Will for her, I cannot say for sure.

I really love this series of posts, because as I’m writing them, I get to realise that each of these people inspires me in vastly different ways. For example, while I like the way that Mel dresses, it is not my aesthetic at all. Her style is elevated and timeless. She loves white, but also isn’t afraid of colour. And while I like all of these elements for her, my style is a lot more experimental and structural. Melissa inspires me the most in her mystery. As a self-proclaimed mysterious girl myself, I revel in the way she has maintained such a distant relationship (objectively) to her audience. Sure, she interacts with them on a surface level, but we don’t know anything about Mel other than what she TELLS us. The woman is married, as in life-long commitment, and yet has continued to successfully keep his identity private. Because it’s nobody’s business bar her own; a lot of people forget that, or allow their audiences to pressure them into sharing information that isn’t their business. That resilience is what I like about Mel, and it’s a resilience that every single one of the other four women I consider trendsetters also possess to varying degrees. They’re all about their business, and then at the end of the day will return to their personal lives in private.

I feel like I’m gushing, but I don’t give a heck! It’s not unbecoming to be passionate about people and things that inspire you. It doesn’t make me less cool to myself, and so I don’t care. Mel is cool, there is no debate for me, and so I am sharing her cool-ness with the world. I recommend everyone reading this follows her Instagram, if not for the fashion content, then just to watch her stories. She’s funny, and doesn’t hold back on being funny in the name of appealing to more people. She calls herself mad (but don’t YEW call her that, have some manners) but it’s really in the best way. I know that if we were more similar in age, she’d be my type of friend. Also, holiday season is upon us this quarter, which means the time to watch her unbox all of the advent calendars she is sent is also coming. Some of my favourite moments include a terrible advent calendar on Mel’s story.

From all of this… enthusiasm about Mel, I hope that she inspires you a bit, too. She teaches me that there will always be time to rest, even in your prime. Making a commitment to carving out that time is self service, and I’ve only started looking at it as such because of her. If you like reading, check out It’s A Lifestyle, Hun. There’s something on there for everyone.

Okay I’m done now. That’s all.

P.S. It’s A Lifestyle, Hun is apparently under refurbishment on the date of posting, but if you’re reading this later, still click the link. If you follow her like I suggest, you will find out when it’s back up anyways xx

edit: the website is back up, but nothing new has been posted. Would still highly recommend checking out some of the articles, though!