My relationship with my personal style has been one that, even still, has routinely been up and down. Like with any relationship, there are really good moments and some not so good moments. The not so good moments in question would be moments where I find myself falling into the cycle of seeing an outfit I like and mimicking it, rather than taking the elements I like and applying them to my tastes and clothes.

I feel like my generation has fallen into this trap. Most people’s “style” consists of imitations. I’m finding that every day, more and more people look and dress the same. Individuality is at an all time low because our generation is obsessed with labels. Questions like “how would you describe your style in three words” are now answered with words like “cottagecore” or “old money”. I’m not going to get into the whole old money aesthetic because a) the tiktok girls are crazy and b) almost everything I have to say concerning the matter has been said in this podcast by Ozara called Butter for Brains. It’s her only episode so far LOL, but give it a listen.

This incessant need to label everything has been entirely counterproductive. Gen Z loves to proclaim that everyone is individual and no longer forced when that is the opposite of what we’ve achieved. The only reason we don’t acknowledge our chains is because they now come in many shapes and sizes. Our chains have been chosen and customised, so of course, they’re no longer there, right? This quest to be the ultimate individual has satirically caused a lot of people to assimilate. Everything must still be “digestible” in the name of appealing to the masses, which is why we’ve set out on a mission to make everything bitesized, yet still identified. It’s the ultimate paradox.

The first step that we as a generation can make towards combating this hive-mind mentality is accepting that we don’t need everyone to like the way we dress. Be you a regular person on the street, a huge influencer with millions of followers across all platforms, or anything in between, individuality starts where validation seeking ends. Pair this with the fact that there are just people in this time of social media that subscribe to contrarianism and hatred as a result of the misery of their personal lives; you cannot please everyone, nor should you want to. Dress in a way that makes YOU and only you happy. And if your brand has already been established with a certain aesthetic, don’t restrict yourself from growing. People change as life happens to them, why wouldn’t their style be allowed to change, too?

Personal style isn’t necessarily just about having a consistent aesthetic. My style, for example, I don’t think could be described using one aesthetic, and I love the fact that I’m multifaceted in my tastes enough for it not to limit me in the way I dress. There are also large fashion influencers that have their aesthetic mastered to the decimal, but cannot dress. Now, of course, the measure of whether a person can or cannot dress has a large element of subjectivity to it, but there are (in my opinion) things that objectively make an outfit bad. If you wear all black, and everything about your life is presented in black and white, but your tops awkwardly cut off your torso and the boots you wear with skirts make you look short, I’d say you’ve mastered your aesthetic, but can’t dress. Kisses x

I was watching this TikTok yesterday that really resonated with me and this topic. In the video, Heather talks about how building personal style is like training your muscles for a marathon. You don’t just wake up one day and your body is able to run 42.2km, if you did, you’d make poor choices along the way and most likely injure yourself. Learning how to style yourself is similar in that sense, but instead of a physical injury it’s a fashion injury in the form of wasted money on clothing you actually hate or that doesn’t flatter you. Learning how to apply inspiration from others in ways that align with your taste and body would be the marathon training. Hard as hell at the beginning, but less hard towards the end. I don’t think it ever gets EASY, but, like with exercising, that’s the fun of it.

All of this being said, I’m not advocating for us to never change or never implement trending elements into our wardrobes. We all deserve to have our phases or eras. If anything, I’m saying that we shouldn’t allow trend cycles to dictate when those eras end. Saying things like “can we bring [insert trend here] back?” or telling people that bows are no longer “in fashion” is silly. Just wear it. Nothing will smite you down for wearing something that’s no longer trending, even if you work in fashion. If you want to be a Sandy Liang girl, a brand for which bows are a critical motif to their fundamental identity, DO THAT. Who cares if people are moving on to the next big thing? That doesn’t automatically disqualify your being fashionable. At the end of the day, implementing trends is optional… for everyone. That’s what makes personal style… personal. You don’t have to be a minimalist to opt out of letting the trend cycle completely influence the way you dress. We should endeavour to have our OWN trend cycles. Pick them up and put them down as they fit YOUR style, not as the runway tells you to. Think of how fun it will be for our future selves to reminisce on something that happened during our “western era”. If that doesn’t apply, then adjust accordingly, but I promise, releasing yourself from the need to stay within dictated cycles will alleviate so much of the pressure that fashion girls put on themselves to always be “fashionable”. That adjective has been diluted to mean “able to wear trends as seen on the runway”. And most of the time, because of that new definition, it leans mostly to skinny white girls being deemed the most fashionable because it’s what we see mostly at the shows.

I do also believe that this is the reason that celebrity stylists aren’t actually doing their jobs well anymore. We don’t have many stylists doing great jobs; it seems like a lot of them think that simply taking a look off the runway is enough to tell a client’s story. Few of them put in the effort to forge a cohesive fashion narrative that involves multiple pieces from different designers and amalgamates into one style. Trust me, I know from experience that if you’re good at your returns and transparent about what you’re keeping and why, the PR girls are super flexible (fun fact: one of the only brands that doesn’t let you pull singular pieces is Rick Owens; Owenscorp likes a head to toe moment). The stylist girls are becoming lazy, and making themselves look like they lack both the ability and taste to do their jobs.

Here are some stylists that are WORKING, though:

• Kollin Carter (Cardi B’s stylist)
  • Not many of the rap girls are fashion girls in the way that Kollin has made Cardi. Genuinely could say that she is to our generation what Lil Kim was to the 90s.
• Law Roach (obviously Zendaya)
  • Don’t even need to say anything. There’s a reason he’s still styling her in his retirement. No one could do for Zendaya what Law does.
• Jared Ellner (Emma Chamberlain)
  • I was watching a YouTube video about “maturing your style” and the person making the video mentioned Emma. Now, I didn’t actually agree with a single thing they said in the video because their tips included things like wearing collared shirts, classic silhouettes, and more subdued colours. Five tips in total and all of them weren’t articulated in a way that can be construed in any way other than to deliver the message that “maturity in fashion is simplicity”. When, hopefully in this whole post, I’ve established the opposite. We don’t need to dress like we’re in Veronica Roth’s faction system to have “mature style”. And we certainly do not need to follow all five of your steps to “understand the basis of fashion and improve your style all together.” That’s a direct quotation, btw. Verbatim. Anyways, they mentioned Emma in the video to compare her style at the beginning of her YouTube career to now. To this, I have a couple of things to say:
    1. She started YouTube when she was 15. She is now 22, of course she will dress differently, especially considering she has such a larger range of access.
    2. She has a stylist who fully understands his job. When Emma isn’t being styled, she’ll most likely be wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and loafers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the Emma that everyone looks to for fashion serves has been carefully curated by Jared, and I don’t want us to forget that, even if it’s a team effort at this point in their relationship.
• Alexandra and Mackenzie Granquist (the sister styling duo behind Kylie)
  • As iconic as the King Kylie phase was, the past 12 months have been so interesting to witness for Kylie. Disregarding my feelings for the family itself, I’d be lying if I said she was someone I didn’t pay attention to. Her style is so refined now; it’s cool but edgy in ways that still remain glamorous and flattering.

So how DO you find your personal style? If the problem is bridging that gap between inspiration and application, then let’s do it.

1. Develop your tastes. Look at art, or even look at Vogue Runway (to start), and simply discover what you like and don’t like. Analyse why you do or don’t like that thing. What are the similarities between the things you like? Find more things that give you the same vibes. make a moodboard; go on Pinterest. Go on Tumblr. Even if you don’t have the exact right terminology, Pinterest has a knack for knowing what you’re talking about. Describe your taste using the brands or artists, rather than the aesthetic-descriptors.
2. Figure out your proportions. Now that you’ve started developing a taste that is unique to you, now is the time to do the prep work for applying that aesthetic to your style. The clothes are important, but how the clothes fit is more important than anything else. Asia Jackson has a great video about proportions, if you’d like to figure out more. Please remember, a lot of brands size differently, and (even though this would be me yelling from inside the same box of reasoning) the size you buy shouldn’t matter. If you need to buy a size L in something and tailor it to fit the best way, don’t focus on the fact that it’s a size large.
3. Now it’s time to look at your existing wardrobe and figure out what needs to stay and what needs to go. Only keep basics, things that fit flatteringly (or that you intend to tailor to do so), and that are to your taste. Try styling the same item in a multitude of ways, there is no shame in rewearing the clothes you own.
4. See if there are any gaps. If there are, then now is the time to fill those gaps. Might I add a caveat here: your basics don’t have to be t-shirts and jeans. In this context, your basics are things that you wear often. For someone who likes brands like Simone Rocha and Molly Goddard, tulle skirts and mini smock dresses could be considered basics. They’re simply the building blocks of your wardrobe.
5. Elevate. Now that we have our building blocks, it’s time to add finishing touches. Think about jewellery, accessories, hair, and makeup that fully ties your style together. Look at how to streamline your shopping to make it as intentional as possible. Look at makeup looks on YOUR face shape and skin tone. Look at the best types of shoes that fit your tastes (and, of course, never forget proportions). Tailoring everything to make sense cohesively makes such a difference in the final product.

All of this being said, here are some people who I think have very good personal style:

Check them out, all of their Instagrams are linked.

That’s all.